Alastair’s story
“The Changing Room was well worth it. I’m thankful I went!”
Alastair struggled with depression for decades before he decided to attend SAMH service The Changing Room. He’d been on anti-depressants prescribed by his GP, but otherwise not sought help – “I never felt that I could speak about it,” he said. He worried that people wouldn’t understand him, or that people would judge.
Feeling he wasn’t good enough, but wanting to be liked, for years he’d “put on a mask” and try to be the life and soul of every party – despite actually being quite shy about meeting new people. He loved football, but struggled with the drinking culture of the sport, leading to particularly bad bouts of depression after going out with the team.
Just over a year ago, he saw on social media about the SAMH programme The Changing Room. The Changing Room has one goal – to promote men’s mental health and wellbeing through the power of the beautiful game. Being so passionate about football himself, Alastair’s attention was immediately caught. Was this the way for him to get support with his mental health?
He decided to sign up for the 12-week programme, but nearly didn’t make it to the first session: “I changed my mind throughout the day about whether I was going to go. I was apprehensive and didn’t know what was lying ahead, didn’t know how others would react to me.”
But he went: “And I’m thankful that I did!”
He immediately appreciated the “friendly, casual atmosphere”, and the focus on a sport all the men loved. Team allegiances went out the window. These were like-minded people.
“There’s always this stigma about mental health which keeps men from speaking about it. They think they’ll be judged or mocked,” said Alastair. But everyone at The Changing Room had gone through similar experiences to him. They had all experienced mental health problems, and been apprehensive about coming along to the sessions.
For men especially, Alastair says, “it’s very difficult to make that first step to speak about mental health”.
At first, they just got to know each other, supported by SAMH staff. Then they began sharing their own stories – getting things out into the open, things they’d bottled up – “things that you felt you couldn’t even speak to close family about”.
And as the weeks went on, Alastair would wake up on the morning of sessions feeling excited. He couldn’t believe the positive therapeutic effect of “laying out his feelings for the first time”. Whether it was the SAMH staff leading discussions or giving talks – or just going for a walk with other men on the programme - it all encouraged him to open up.
He and the other men on the programme bonded with each other. That bond continues to this day. The men from the programme have a WhatsApp group; if one is having a bad time, he can send a message, and is immediately reached out to by the others. “Everyone will keep being there supporting each other.”
The programme gave him the confidence to go sober, after realising that his depression was worsened by alcohol. And overall Alastair now feels more able to speak about mental health in social settings. After sharing his own experiences, he found out that a friend was struggling with his mental health. That friend is now attending The Changing Room too.
Alastair says, “The Changing Room was well worth it … I’ve realised the importance of getting it out there – speaking about what you’re feeling, what you’re going through. There are people out there feeling exactly the same. Just get out there. Make that first move. Speak about it.”
