I moved around a lot as a child, ending up in Scotland when I was 9. Two years later, things were really difficult at home with domestic violence made worse by my parents’ drinking. 

I was allocated a family and social worker and was placed in foster care.  

I was acting out at home and in school. My sisters were born 9 and 12 years after me and were also put into foster care in a separate placement. My eldest sister was sexually abused by a family friend, and I told my mother about the abuse. Social work and police talked to my sister, and they stated it was her word against them and no convictions came of their disclosures.  

My sisters were going through the same issues as I did due to alcohol misuse and domestic violence in their home. At this point I took over kinship of them as I didn’t want them to have the life I did growing up. I found this difficult as I didn’t have the support or money to do this and survived on £90 a fortnight job seekers’ allowance. I struggled to make any friends growing up as I was never around long enough to make them.  

My relationship with dad was non-existent and my relationship with mum totally broke down due to her constantly letting me down. She also often accused me of various things, such as attempting to murder her partner. She put me through hell, but I still managed to help raise my sisters.  

Although I had partners, they were never positive influences in my life. It felt like I was repeating the pattern of my parents as those I fell for were abusive, unfaithful, and misused drugs and alcohol. I had two children with my third serious partner, but he became physically abusive and took drugs and alcohol. When we split up, services became available, including a social worker who referred me to SAMH.  

SAMH was a great help and supported me with things other services had failed to do. I had been isolating myself as I felt overwhelmed and anxious, but my key worker built up my confidence again and supported me to go back into the community. At that time, I was diagnosed with EUPD and PTSD and Fibromyalgia.  

SAMH were non-judgemental and empathetic to my situation; I felt I could finally trust someone again and made me feel worthy. To this day I say that SAMH saved my life.  

Once my life was back on track and I was living life as normally as I could, I made the wrong decision to go back to my children’s father. SAMH support had finished but I felt stronger to cope with this. Unfortunately, this didn’t work out and I was back getting abused, and I was back taking illegal drugs and alcohol. I fell pregnant again and life was not good.  

Once the baby was born that’s when things got really tough. I sustained an injury which affected my mobility and impacted my ability to care for my children. This escalated in to them being neglected and they ending up staying with their dad. I was taking drugs daily to give me motivation to get stuff done in the house, but it didn’t work like I had anticipated. I asked for help many times from professional services with no success, but I was finally referred back to SAMH.   

SAMH yet again got me through a tough time by rehabilitating my life. With their help, I recognised my faults and what was important to me. During this time I still had on going issues with drugs and alcohol but SAMH was there to support me to get my life back. I continued to have issues with my mental health, but SAMH helped to remind me that I was worth more and kept me focussed on how important my children were in my life.  

By this time, I had housing issues. My sisters were also having problems, and I was in another bad relationship, so my only support was SAMH. They supported me through this hard time and got me involved in other services to help me with my housing. I got another home away from the lifestyle and area I had become accustomed too.  

My key worker was a superhero as I don’t think I would have got through all this without her. She brings me back down to earth, and I know she is there if I need her. She always gives me the best advice and always knows the right thing to say to calm me down. Because of SAMH’s support, I have been off drugs for 8 months now. Me and my ex-partner are civil and my relationship with my children is in a good place. My housing is in an area that suits me and I am staying out of trouble. I am budgeting a lot better and making sure my children have all that they need. SAMH also supported me to get access to my children again. Everybody could use a key worker like mine from SAMH in their life.