Neill’s story
2nd May 2016
Neill (26) shares his experience of seeking out support for depression, anxiety & mood disorder and how his life has changed as a result.
I realised I had mental health problems when I started university. Added stress both in university and at home made me realise I couldn’t cope without support and that a lot of my thoughts and feelings were out of the ordinary. During this time I pushed support away for many years, which I now see was a big mistake!
The first time I felt bad I went to my GP who supported me and I became stable for a while. After many years I went back down a bad road and stopped getting support. After two attempted suicides losing a potentially successful business and reaching an all-time low I realised yet again I needed support and this time with more professional input. I used my local mental health team and GP and now although I face a long road ahead I am on a solid treatment plan.
At first the support I received wasn’t great because my GP wouldn’t accept I needed as much help as I did – I had to push beyond GP care. Now I get support from my local mental health crisis team who are brilliant! I also receive help socially from the council and although I can cope on my own the majority of time, they are fantastic when I am struggling to keep on the correct path. Because I have pushed and driven for support, now I am receiving specialist psychiatric care. I know now treatment is helping me move forward.
At first the support I received wasn’t great because my GP wouldn’t accept I needed as much help as I did – I had to push beyond GP care. Now I get support from my local mental health crisis team who are brilliant!
Initially I was on medication which I do suspect to be on the rest of my life and this has really helped me. It has taken a while to get medication right but it has helped. My main focus however has been on two main things, routine which includes keeping physically healthy which helps and also focusing on relaxation techniques such as breathing. Another thing I am using which is personal to me is Zen study which although not for everyone has given me support to control my thoughts daily. It might not be Zen which helps everyone to cope however I feel finding something or someone to connect with and help you think clearer is good. My biggest coping strategy however is not hiding from my illness anymore and being truthful to everyone about how it affects me.
I play rugby and got abuse for years for the way I was because I withdraw when I feel bad. I have left a number of teams because of it and it has also affected my working life. Now the team I am part of at work know and are really supportive although many still don’t understand it fully. I have been able to start approaching work again and have great deal of opportunities coming my way. The bottom line is I am happy again in myself which is the main thing for anyone to cope day to day!
Because I don’t want others to face the negativity and lack of understanding around mental health, I am supporting SAMH to develop awareness and have an online blog which you can follow. I will also be raising money via Just Giving page to help support this wonderful charity and underrepresented illness.
